Background
This Monday was rough. I’ve spent the last (nearly) week suffering from a touch of some non (‘vid’) illness. As last week was Spring Break, and this time I wanted to devote myself to writing and doing a couple of podcast episodes, I ended up feeling half-dead in bed.
So, as one could imagine, coming on the Monday after a week of illness is certainly not a great way to begin the week.
My voice is still raspy, and my cough plus some sniffles have been with me as constant companions… What I really missed was any signs of Spring.
A Brief look at Spring and Scenic Drives
Gloomy and dark as most of today’s weather; the same applies to last week as well. I have seasonal affective disorder, so I feel a very distinct need for that spring weather. It’s almost a longing for the sun, it can be downright depressing during the winter months here in the Midwest. I had two days of glorious sun and sky (though both cold) and they both really changed a lot for me.
I tend to take drives, often with zero destination in mind. I feel out where the road takes me, and I will sometimes hit a “landmark” if I see a sign mention a particular town or thing nearby. On these drives I reflect on my present and future situations, and honestly some of the most meaningful decisions I’ve made have come from those introspective moments. But for those I need time, sun, and the skies. I need these things on a regular basis to keep myself motivated. (I invested in some at-home fitness supplies, and then formulated some routines for myself to follow.) That is more progress than I’ve made in months when it comes to anything in that vein.
After getting home, I spent some time relaxing and watching some lawncare videos (an interesting niche that I’m currently perusing) but found myself wanting to get inspired by music and just see where my writing would take me.
So I finally popped open Spotify, and lo and behold a great album “High Times” by Washed Out, one of the top artists that I enjoy.
Specifically, I very much enjoy the track “Belong” which can be streamed all, or in part via Spotify.
The Result
Washed Out has a crazy way of invoking nostalgia that sounds closer to my Aunt’s age than my own, but in my mind, I formulate some makeshift nostalgia looking back on fictional events that Spring to mind as I listen. But it ties into feelings that I felt in my own experiences in a strange way.
Feeling Nostalgia for a time that isn’t one’s own is called “Anemoia”, thus I’ve titled this poem…
Anemoia
The song begins...
A feeling of nostalgia for a time I’ve never lived...
Evenings, light humidity, the smell of grass and dew, and lightning bugs caress our space as we venture forth. Elation, freedom, solace, peace. These are the feelings evoked. Exploration, and adventure, seeing what there is to see. The sun, high above, the incessant whine of Cicadas. The very sound is like a thermometer boiling. The smell of humidity on the air, its taste on my tongue. A kindred sense of outsiderdom mixed with latent nostalgia and navel-gazing. A time long past, but its lack remains, still existing and persisting in my cerebral veins.
And that’s where I’ll leave things tonight. Stay safe, and enjoy your life to its fullest.
